I Am Love Sprinklin Myself Around You...R.I.P. MJ

Ohhh Lord. My grief right now is inexplicable. Everyone who knows me knows that Michael Jackson is the soundtrack to my life. When I walk down the street in a bad ass outfit I actually sing P.Y.T. to myself. Its my theme song and MJ is my musical muse.

I have been on the phone constantly since the news broke. My best friends and I keep replaying our favorite MJ memories. The moments on the dance floor when his voice crept through the speakers and took us to another level, our obsession with him as children who coveted and worshiped every bit of memorabilia like a magical talisman that we knew made us more special, and closer to him.

I have written before on my old blog about my love of MJ despite his obvious struggles with the weight of his own celebrity and remarkable talent. I chose then not to dwell on his gray areas and right now I find that I feel the same way. Frankly, I am annoyed by the focus the media has chosen to put on his troubles in the wake of his death. The only thing I can think of is the sunshine MJ brought into our lives.

My favorite MJ memory (aside from getting to go to the BAD concert when I was 8) happened to me in college. It was about 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. My friends and I were cracked out, as we used to say, studying for finals and writing endless overdue papers. We had holed up in the Student Government office with an assortment of CD's, food, and coffee. After one of us threatened to stop writing thinking doing anything and just quitting my friend Erika presented us all with a gift. She put the "Ultimate Jackson 5 Greatest Hits" album in the CD player. We sang all the words to "I Want You Back", "Dancing Machine", and "Shake Ya Body Down To The Ground". Halfway through the CD we all felt like we could go on. I started puttin some stank on my paper about the US public school system, finding new sources, sounding more eloquent and combative than I had 30 minutes before. Then, we heard a track we weren't as familiar with. It started off with Jermaine Jackson singing to a spare piano and bass lead-in:

"The eyes of love will watch you
As you go from day to day
The hands of love will catch you
When you fall along the way
My arms will hold and be with you
Your whole life through
'Cause I am love
And I'm in love with you

I find myself in wonder
Of why I've been misused
When love brings understanding
How can it be confused
(War and poverty wasn't meant to be)
Hate is drivin' me away
'Cause I am love
And I'd love to stay"

All of us stopped typing. Then we had a moment. Michael's voice busts through on the track backed by a nasty bass lick:

"Come back lover, come back
This is where you belong
Come back lover, come back
This is where you belong
Come back lover, come back
This is where you belong
Come back lover, come back
This is where you belong
Come back lover, come back
This is where you belong
Come on back, oh yeah
Please, this is where you belong"

Somebody started to cry. We all said "now nobody can bust up in the track and change the game like Mike." That night we all decided that MJ's voice was a special instrument, indeed something that only God could make. How else could we explain how we had gone within the space of an hour from despondent, tired students to straight up scholars possessed with purpose and a drive to change the world.

"I am love
Sprinkle myself around you
I am love
Shower my warmth upon you

I'm the answer to the question
My key unlocks your heart
I'm your friend and your lover
Your sister and your brother

Let me in your mind
(Let's get together)
You're runnin' out of time
(Let's get together)
Your wish is my command
(Let's get together)
People take my hand
(Let's get together
(Love, love, love, love)
(Let's get together, let's get together)

I am love,
Sprinkle myself around you,
I am love
Shower my warmth upon you

I am love
I am love"

We talked a lot that night about Michael. How his voice always seemed to retain just the right amount of church, soul, innocence and bravado. We also decided that "I Am Love" was our new anthem simply because it conveyed how we all felt about our place in the world.


This is the part of Michael Jackson that I want to remember and cherish. A voice and a talent that could suspend, amaze, and humble. MJ you were definitely love, and we are lucky to have had you.